Sentimental Journey

I am by nature a sentimental person, but two times of year I get more teary and sentimental than usual.  The beginning of a new school year, and the end of the school year.  They are mile markers in my children's lives, marking out how much they've grown and changed. 

The little kindergartener who started out this year so anxious to read is now an emerging reader who also likes to write quite a bit as well.  It has been such a joyous journey to watch his teacher (a first year teacher) work with him on both academic and social issues.  She has brought out the best in him, challenged him, and nurtured his growth in so many areas.  Corey told me that June 9th would definitely be his "worst day ever" because he is going to be done with kindergarten and he will miss Miss Smith.  (I think he has a little crush!)  I will miss her, too.  She has been a great influence on my little son.

My second grader is going to be turning 9 in just a few days.  He started out the year being homeschooled, but around December we decided it was in his best interest to have him return to public school.  God blessed him with a very kind experienced teacher who was just perfect for Travis.  It has been a challenging year for Travis in some ways, but when I see the growth and the maturity, I know it has been worth it to go through the tough times.

My only school kid to stay homeschooled this year was Jeremy, age 11.  I know that homeschool was nothing fancy this year.  But we are mighty happy with ourselves for finishing up a whole year here at home.  He will be going to middle school next year, and I will really miss him.  I know that God is going ahead of him to prepare the way.  When you put your child in God's hands, you can be assured that he is in the best possible place.  Jeremy was (and still is) such a blessing to me this year in so many ways, always willing to help with whatever I asked him to do.  He did his assignments without complaint and he did them well.  I have enjoyed this year with him.

My big girl, Brianna, also started out this school year at home.  At about the midway point, she went back to public school also.  Not that we really meant to do this in the middle of the year.  But this is the way that things worked out.  I can look back with regrets, or I can look back and be thankful for all that we learned.  I choose to be thankful.  Brianna made the transition back to middle school without any difficulties whatsoever.  I give her so much credit for all the hard work she puts in.  She is a high achiever.  God made her this way.  She strives for straight A's and always tries to do her best.  I have really come to admire and appreciate her drive!

Then there is our little Kaylee.   It is hard to believe that she started out this (school) year as a just turned 2 year old!  Looking back at pictures, she seems so small.  She is talking so much more now, nearly potty trained, and her mantra is "I do it myself!"  The kids say she goes to "baby" school.  I guess she really does.  She has learned to sing the ABC song, has memorized books to "read" to us, helps us tell time (it's perpetually 8:40 to her), and makes us laugh at her funny antics.  What a joy she is to our family.

Today as I watched the 2 younger boys at their school's Memorial Day program, I couldn't help but tear up.  They are growing up so nicely, making their mama so proud.  Life just keeps rolling along.  I try not to think too hard about the fact that it is all going so fast.  Only 7 more days until school is out for the summer.  I look forward to spending more time with these awesome kids!

Routines

It’s pouring down rain this morning. Got the 2 little boys off to school in a timely manner without too much chaos. I had a late night, hence a late start this morning. I’m working on doing better on that end. But the days are just long sometimes, I can’t change that.

I am trying to make the morning routine better for all of us. Checklists work, for awhile. But then everyone becomes bored of them. I guess I have to try to change up the routine once in awhile. It takes so long to get them into a routine, I hate to lose that.

It takes me so long to get into a routine. There’s this whole process I have to go through, it seems.
1. First I have to realize that there’s a problem caused by a lack of structure or routine. That could take me anywhere from days to weeks to months. Hopefully only days or weeks.
2. Then I have to “chill”. You know, just decompress a bit, shake off the old routine, or shake myself out of the no routine, as it were!
3. Then I have to go through a stage of doing nothing to the point where it aggravates me that I am doing nothing about the lack of structure.
4. After that I spend a period of time analyzing the situation and the basic rhythms that I see.
5. Then of course, I make a list or a chart of some sort. This could take days as I play around with perfecting the chart on the computer. 
6. Implement the routine and any incentives.
7. Perfect the routine until all is peaceful and Momma is happy again. For awhile. Until those involved become bored, or the school year ends, or the summer ends, or the kids grow up, or whatever.

Then get into bad routine again, which is no routine. Become aggravated again. Repeat process when necessary. See I have a routine for getting into a routine. Now isn’t that clever?

Productive Weekend, Lazy Monday

After being outside a bit on Saturday and Sunday, I began to sneeze ferociously yesterday. My family knows, look out, Mom’s going to sneeze. Not just one sneeze, but a series of loud sneezes, usually in three’s or four’s. My nose is itchy, my eyes are watery, I sniff constantly, and I am on the verge of sneezing at any moment.  I am not allergic to spring. I think I’m allergic to the molds. I’ve never taken the time to find out. Well, today after feeling groggy and stuffed up, I decided to take some Claritin. Kid’s Claritin….it’s fruit flavored. Jeremy(11) informs me that it will take awhile to kick in. Rats, I was wishing for instant relief!

Meanwhile, I set Jeremy (and Kaylee(2)…yikes!) to painting. It’s nice to see what creations a kid can come up with when given plenty of time to experiment. Jeremy is quite a free-spirited artist.

This weekend felt productive. Notice, I am not saying it was. Just that it felt like it. Maybe I’m learning not to have such big expectations for the weekends. It’s only taken me 12 years to learn this.

Saturday consisted of me gathering laundry, taking Brianna(12) to dance, take Carl’s truck to Sears to get worked on, back home to direct traffic while the kids and I did some chores, back to pick up Brianna, take the boys to get haircuts, help Carl with the pool cover that fell in over the winter (ho hum!), then take a walk with Brianna to the track (whoa..I’m outta shape!), back home to change out of sweaty shirt, go to grocery store, come home and make birthday dinner, while starting the kids on Saturday night showers. Bake and frost promised homemade chocolate cake for hubby’s birthday. Then at last to sit down and enjoy the dinner, which was devoured in 1/8 the time it took to make it.

That was supposed to be my last sweet, but I blew it last night by having another piece of cake. It was too good. Carl said it was the best cake he ever had. Wow.

Anyways, you can see that my Saturday wasn’t all that productive for me. But we got some chores done so that the house looks respectable. I got to take a walk. I got mostly caught up on the laundry. Even to the extent of putting it away. I was able to bless my hubby with his birthday dinner. My kids went to bed happy and clean. And my kitchen was clean when I went to bed. Ahh. I feel peaceful.

It doesn’t take much to make me happy.

What We've Been Up To

The last week or so has gone by quickly and I am reminded that there are only nine.more.days until the kids are out of school. I look forward to the break from the routine and to having some special time with them. So much to do, so little time.

Meanwhile, we have still been throwing around the idea of putting an addition on our house. A big undertaking because Carl will design it and be the general contractor, subbing out parts of the work such as backhoe service, block laying, electrical, etc. He could do the whole thing himself if there were 48 hours in his day.

I saw an ad in the Pennysaver last week that our old house is for sale. The ad said, "Open House" Sunday. "Our house is for sale! Can we go see it?" That would be me shrieking with excitement!

How do you take 10 people - my mom and some friends were with us - and go incognito to an Open House? How do you act nonchalant when your kids are saying (loudly), "Ooh, this used to be my room" or "Was this our old house"? What had seemed like a fun trip down memory lane became one of life's most embarrassing moments as Brianna(10) and Jeremy(9) ran around snapping pictures of each room with their digital cameras. I tried to shush the blabber-mouths, Travis(6) and Corey(4), and keep the photographers shooting in a less conspicuous area. Carl of course had to check out the mechanics, especially the plumbing and let me know that everything was just the same. The realtor was the buyers' agent when we sold the house 4 years ago. I wondered if she remembered us? We probably had her head spinning. I don't know why we do these things. Nuts,I guess.

Friday morning the kids had a Memorial Day program at school, one of the highlights of the end of the year. This was the school's 22nd such program. Carl came with us, and we enjoyed the cool, but sunny morning while we listened to patriotic speeches by some of our local politicians and musical numbers presented by each grade.

Yesterday was the first picnic of the summer season. We all congregated at my sister's house for a cookout in their awesome backyard. So nice and peaceful. Except for Kaylee(8mo) crying much of the time. And the Corey(4) climbing the tree in the neighbor's yard. And Carl trying to kill bees the whole time we were eating. And my pyromaniac sons roasting hot dogs over the fire on plastic forks. Other than that, "a great time was had by all"! Di & Mike always have great food and hospitality. The day was topped off by getting to see fireworks on the way home.


That's what we've been up to. Just in case you were wondering. Hope your weekend was great, too!

The Saga of my Hair

Did I ever tell you the tale of my hair? My fine, limp, do-nothing hair? Most of my life my hairstyle has been what my mother would call "that natural windblown look". Thanks Mom for trying to put a positive spin on this. But seriously. I can spend $25 to get my haircut and walk out of the salon looking like nothing was ever done. I can buy "product" out the wazoo and it only looks good if I were to reside in a bubble. Please kids, don't touch my hair. I just fixed it. Honey, I appreciate the hug, but you just smushed my bangs. And speaking of bangs. Aren't they from the 80's? Or was it the 90's? Whatever. My hair is crying for some style. But it just doesn't know how to stay styled.

This became especially apparent when I attended college. College was near Chicago which is a very bad place for people with hair insecurities. What the wind didn't ruin, the humidity would take care of. My theme song became,"Why Worry When you can Spray?".

When my sister and I taught school and shared an apartment, together we had enough in hair care products to start our own store. We used to tease each other about the "13 Step Hair Care Process" we had to go through each morning. Pick a little, spray a little, pick a little, spray a little, pick, pick, pick, pick a lot, spray a little more.

Well anyways, when I went to Target this morning, I invested yet another $30 in "product" guaranteed to give my hair volume and weightless style! Woo-wee. Surely that is worth 30 bucks, right. After all, to misquote the six-fingered man in the movie The Princess Bride, "if you haven't got healthy hair, you haven't got anything." Yeah, yeah. I know.

While putting my "product" away, the reality of my obsession with perfect hair came clear to me. I found no less than 6 bottles of Pantene volumizing hair spray - maximum hold, of course, under the sink. Some empty, some with only a little in it, some sorta full. I also found a mostly empty bottle of finishing spritz, a very empty bottle of gel, and an empty jar of Avon face cream. Empty promises, all.

Maybe I'm just obsessed with trying to preserve my youthfulness. Or maybe I'm vain. Or maybe a terrible clutter-bug. Maybe I need to go to counseling. Maybe all of the above. Anyways, next time you see me, maybe I'll be sporting a wig of some sort. Sorta works better with these mild spring zephyrs that tend to ruffle my hair. Just thought you'd want to know.

The weekend and some ponderings

It was an interesting and a good weekend. I got to spend some time with my sis Friday night. Hard to believe we only live 30 miles away from each other. It was fun just going out to Borders and chit-chatting about books and writing and life in general. She is such an encouragement and an inspiration to me.

Saturday night Jeremy (9) had to go to the emergency room because his croup made his throat close up. Taking him outside and trying steam treatments in the bathroom a few times wasn't doing the trick. So at about 4:30 Sunday morning, Carl took him over to the ER. After that I guess he felt better because Carl said they considered going out to breakfast, but Jeremy opted not to go because he was in his PJ's. I think the PJ's look like sweats, but hey, if I was 9 would I want to be out in public in my jammies? Oh well, he passed on a pancake breakfast w/ dad this time. Brianna was also recovering from croup, although hers was not as bad. She had a fever and lost her voice.

After next to no sleep Saturday night, we opted to (try to) sleep in Sunday morning. But that is a real trick with a 4 year old in the house. Corey decided to get up and play with his Lightning McQueen car and Bob the Builder phone in his room. Hmmm. Noisy toys. So much for sleeping in.

Well, it was time for the baby to be moved out of our master bedroom. She is officially 6 months old. She'll be sitting up in the bassinet if we don't get her into a crib sometime soon.

This means it was also time for Corey (4) to be moved into the boys' room. Corey was so excited and rambunctious all day Sunday. We moved his toddler bed into Jeremy (9) and Travis'(6) room. Jeremy bawled. Travis bossed. Corey bounced. I tried as best I could to organize their things and make it look presentable, even though it's like 12 pounds of junk in a 5 pound sack.

Corey is so cute, and trying to be so good. He hugs his big brothers and tries to convince them that he is a big guy now. He still has to learn not to turn on the light in the morning and jibber-jabber so loudly.

After taking Brianna to violin tonight, I ran home, fed my family, nursed the baby, then ran back to get Brianna. When I got back, Travis was attempting to play wiffle ball by himself in the front yard. Remembering my attempts at playing wiffle ball by myself when I was little, I went and pitched the ball to him. He is a star in his own mind. It was fun. After about 1/2 hour, my hands were freezing so we went inside.

Clothes to organize. Lunches to pack. Laundry to fold. Teething babies to hold. Doctors appointments. Dentist appointments. Parent-teacher conferences. Baths. Homework help. Husband's 40th birthday!

Where does books to read come in? Time to blog. Hmmm. I'm struggling to get some sleep keep some balance in my life right now. I want to blog, but I don't want to squander precious time either. I'm hoping that by blogging I will find some community with other Christian women that I desperately still desire. But most importantly, I want to have time with God, my husband, my kids. They are and will be the most important part of my life.

Just some things that have been going on and some things I have been pondering lately.

The lawyers are coming!

It's not like I don't have anything better to do today. The lawyers are coming tomorrow to my house because I have to give a deposition. I have been in a panicked state about this for weeks. Actually, this was supposed to happen back in August, except that I was so close to having the baby that it was postponed.

I should probably be cleaning feverishly or something like that. I mean it might be nice if the powder room was reasonably clean, and maybe the living room, too. But I just can't seem to get motivated to do it right now.

So here I sit in front of the computer rambling to the whole world the three people who read my blog. It is a rainy, soggy day and a bit dismal. I called my Mom this morning and she prayed with me. I am trying to keep my focus where it should be, on Him. Seeing God in the everyday may be a basic discipline in the Christian life, but I don't think it is one that I have previously practiced very much. Reading Psalm 46 yesterday, I was reminded that He is my "ever-present help in trouble" and in control, even when I can't see the big picture. It is my prayer that He get the glory for this whole situation.

The lawyer for the plaintiff wanted to call me and discuss the deposition today. After finally getting the baby settled for a nap, putting the little guys in front of some cartoons, I called and we "discussed". Okay, so far, so good. I guess this won't be so bad.

I only had to give the boys "the eye" and motion for them to be good a few times while I was on the phone. Afterwards I put on some pretty music and made the boys lunch. Something about that mellow James Galway flute brings out the tender side of my boys. They couldn't stay on their chairs during lunch for all the hugs they wanted to give me. They are growing up so much, and I see that slowly, but surely they are learning to play together nicely.

All in all, it was a good morning. God is doing a work here. Sometimes I can't see it, but I can feel it. And I know I sense His presence.

A look back, a look ahead

Another year has gone by. This is said somewhat with a sigh of relief. 2007 was a year of stretching for me in many ways.

One, my belly stretched out more than ever before in my 5^th pregnancy. Waddling to the pool this past summer was not a pretty sight! Yes baby Kaylee (more about her in a later post) was born about a full pound larger than my other children. She is so sweet in all her chubbiness, soft skin, and fluffy hair. But I need to “unstretch” now. I lost the baby weight fairly quickly this time, so how did I end up putting on an few extra pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years? Yikes. Time to get back on the treadmill. (Situps are not happening right now!)

My marriage has been stretched in unexpected ways as well. This is where the rubber really meets the road. I am finding out that when you face challenges together as a couple and commit to honor your marriage vows, you really can grow in ways you wouldn’t imagine. Admittedly, that growth can be painful at times. We are still a work in progress, but it is by God’s grace that 2 imperfect people are still so in love and looking forward to 50+ more years together! I suspect that God has some great things ahead for us.

I have also been stretched in my relationship with the Lord. Several people have been instrumental in this area. My dear sister has encouraged me to look at my relationship with the Lord in a whole new way. It is slooowly becoming more of a “line upon line, precept upon precept” type of walk. Not something to be done in isolation, and not something that I can even actually do myself. It is truly more about what the Lord has already done for me and what He is now doing in me. My pastor was also extremely instrumental in helping me learn what it means to walk in grace.

I am truly filled with joy and gratitude to the Lord for the year (or two!) of stretching. My prayer for 2008 is that I will cherish His truth and live by His grace.